Are You Ready to Have a Serious Relationship

Table of contents

1. What is love
2. How Do You Know You're Feeling Love for Someone
3. What is serious relationship
4. What’s the difference between casually dating and being in a serious relationship?
5. 10 signs you’re in a committed relationship
6. Connect with your country ladies and men that need serious relationship

What is love

Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust.

Love can vary in intensity and can change over time. It is associated with a range of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but it can also result in negative emotions such as jealousy and stress.

When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions. Yet despite being one of the most studied behaviors, it is still the least understood. For example, researchers debate whether love is a biological or cultural phenomenon.

Love is most likely influenced by both biology and culture. Although hormones and biology are important, the way we express and experience love is also influenced by our personal conceptions of love.

How Do You Know You're Feeling Love for Someone

• They’re always in your thoughts

Sure, it might be trite—but it’s true. You know you’re falling in love when your someone begins to take up major real estate in your thoughts. You might find yourself rehashing your conversations in the middle of work, thinking about your next date days in advance, or even envisioning your future together. For Kang, she remembers rereading her husband's text messages and viewing his photos over and over again when they first began dating because she thought about him so often.

• And you’re dying to know if they love you, too

If you find yourself considering whether this person feels similarly and you look for for signs that they're missing you, too, that's another signifier, Jacqueline Olds, MD, an associate professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, tells Oprah Daily.

“Your stomach and heart may take a leap every time they contact you or suggest spending time together.

• You feel like a teenager again.

Falling in love has a way of making you feel like a wide-eyed, wild-hearted teenager again, and that's no coincidence, says Kelifern Pomeranz, PsyD, a California-based clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist. "When you fall in love, your body produces a cocktail of chemicals, including dopamine (for wanting more), noradrenaline (for excitement, focus, and attention), testosterone (for sexual interest and drive), and a drop in serotonin (which can cause that low-key obsessive feeling). These chemicals make us feel happy, giddy, energetic, euphoric, and youthful.

• They make you feel better about yourself.

People in the throes of falling in love often report feeling like they know more, or can do more, according to Theresa E. DiDonato, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland. She describes how an experience of “self-expansion” often occurs as people fall in love, meaning their own sense of self grows through their relationship with this new person. For example, someone whose partner loves hiking might start to see themselves as a hiker too.

• You’re ignoring other attractive people.

Gone are the days of swiping right on dating apps or DM'ing other potential partners. If you realize you’re not as inclined to investigate those other fish in the sea, that can be telling, DiDonato tells Oprah Daily.

“Falling in love may correspond with changes in attention–specifically people in loving, committed relationships show less attention to other viable partners,” she says.

• You feel the love everywhere.

Finding yourself suddenly enjoying small chat with your less-than-pleasant coworker, or striking up conversations with your crabby neighbor? Your loved-up vibes could certainly be radiating beyond your partnership, notes Pomeranz. "Falling in love can knock us out of autopilot and allow us to see everything and everyone in a new light. Love can contribute to an increased sense of well-being and lead to a positive outlook, which can extend far beyond the person directly in front of us."

What is serious relationship

A serious relationship exists between people who imagine a shared future. For many people, this means imagining that they and their partners will be together until they both die; it may also mean marriage, moving in together or planning big trips. Although not all serious relationships are healthy or worth continuing, it’s still important to recognize a serious relationship for what it is in order to understand how it makes you feel to be joined to another person.

What’s the difference between casually dating and being in a serious relationship?

Nowadays, in a post-hookup-app world brimming with casual dating opportunities, serious relationships may seem scant. Hookups are becoming the norm in today’s dating scene — which isn't everyone's cup of teal the American Psychological Association cites a history of hookup regret in 78% of women and 72% of men surveyed. Although it seems like a majority of your peers are participating in hookup culture and loving it, the statistics suggest they’re not having as much fun as they pretend. Since individuals in committed relationships more frequently experience successful and enjoyable sexual encounters, some researchers posit that the human being tends toward serious relationships and monogamy — however, this conclusion may be biased, coming from a generation that venerates the “golden age” of marriage and is unwilling to accept societal change that allows for different, unrecognizable forms of love such as polyamory. 

The vast popularity of the hookup scene has led some dating experts, such as Helen Fisher, author of Anatomy of Love: A Natural History of Mating, Marriage, and Why We Stray, to claim that younger generations are participating in “slow love.” The phenomenon of slow love entails testing potential partners sexually, fiscally and socially before committing to a more serious relationship. Although older generations are appalled by it, slow dating is not necessarily a bad thing, Fisher argues, because it lays the foundation for more solid, lasting relationships; however, it also creates a blurred line between casual dating and serious relationships. As a result, it can be hard to determine whether you’ve found yourself in something casual or something not-so-casual.

10 signs you’re in a committed relationship

• You obsess less.

People who had recently fallen in love reported thinking about their partners over 85% of the day, according to a 2016 study linking romance and substance abuse. Daydreaming about your partner in the early months of your relationship can certainly feel like an addiction, but the addiction will naturally pass when you leave that puppy love stage and enter a more serious stage of the relationship. You won't need to worry whether your partner has seen your text, because you'll feel assured that they are committed to you and will eventually respond. (However, if you don't wonder how your partner is doing at all, chances are that you’re not that interested in them — in which case, you probably shouldn't be in a serious relationship with that person.)

• You reach out to one another equally.

Reciprocity of gestures — whether that means asking each other out to dinner or just sending a sweet text at the end of the day — is indicative of equality of interest in your relationship. If you notice that you’re always the one reaching out to your partner, that can mean that your partner is less invested in your relationship, which implies that your relationship might not be as serious as you thought. 

• You’re less interested in other possible partners.

When you start seeing someone with whom you imagine a future, your interest in other potential mates can diminish. Tunnel vision is not a bad thing, and the fact that you no longer start sweating when Daniel from accounting says hello doesn’t mean that you’re losing touch with attraction in general. When you lose your desire to chase after other people, it just shows that you’re devoted to making your partnership work.  

• You’ve met your partner’s friends, and they’ve met yours.

Meeting your partner’s family has always seemed like a huge deal, but with the changing mores of the dating world has come a shift in who is most important to impress. Now, getting approval from trusted friends is hugely important to the slow-dating process. If you don’t get along with your partner’s friends, that could be a deal-breaker, so make sure to treat being introduced to them as a big deal.

•  You can talk about anything.

At first, when you’re hooking up with someone, it can be difficult to have real conversations. There’s an implicit competition, conferred on us all by hookup culture, to seem like you care less than your partner in any sexual situation. This fear of being the more vulnerable member of the relationship can prevent individuals from discussing things like their hopes, dreams, financial situation, problems, parental relationships, past sexual relationships or feelings. Luckily, when you’re in a committed relationship, fear of discussing things that are important to you will slip away.

• You can be together without having sex.

Depending on your own personal sexual drive, constant sex might be something you need from a partner. Even if that’s the case, you should think about how often you’re doing it. In a casual hookup relationship, sex is the most important part of the relationship and can be used as an excuse to hang with your partner; in a committed relationship, partners want to be together regardless of whether or not sexual activity is on the table for the night. Plus, if your relationship is built solely on sex, it will be hard to sustain as you both grow older and your libidos begin to recess. 

• You feel comfortable around them.

There are easy ways to tell if you feel comfortable around your partner. When you’re hanging out with them, what do you wear? If you’re spending more time than usual putting on a full face of makeup or dressing to impress, it shows that you’re not entirely sure their feelings for you aren’t physically sourced. Once you’re brave enough to invite them over when you’re in your pajamas — not the matching silk set, the enormous-T-shirt and boxer shorts — then you’ll know that you really feel comfortable around them. 

• You split the check.

Although the (heteronormative) expectation for men to pay for their date’s dinner is entirely outdated, there are still many people who try to impress their partners by paying for meals. People in a serious relationship realize that this is unnecessary and split the check. This concept applies both literally and figuratively: you’re in a serious relationship if you’re being honest about your finances and thoroughly considering each venture together, whether it be a new home, a new dog or Indian takeout versus pizza. 

• You hope they succeed.

In a serious relationship, one partner’s success should translate to joy for both. Although it can be hard to avoid jealousy if it seems like your partner is moving forward in the world while you’re remaining stagnant, you’ll know you’re in a serious relationship when your hope that your partner succeeds is just as powerful as your own desire for success.

• You know they’ll be there tomorrow.

Maybe it’s because you made dinner plans or maybe it’s because you both sleep in the same bed. Either way, you’ll know things are serious when you’re sure that your partner will be there the next day, and the next, and the next. If you have any doubt in your mind that that is the case, you’re not in a committed relationship. 

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